Previously, a data family's kind had to end in `Type`,
and data instances had to list all the type patterns for the
family. However, both of these restrictions were unnecessary:

- A data family's kind can usefully end in a kind variable `k`.
  See examples on #12369.

- A data instance need not list all patterns, much like how a
  GADT-style data declaration need not list all type parameters,
  when a kind signature is in place. This is useful, for example,
  here:

    data family Sing (a :: k)
    data instance Sing :: Bool -> Type where ...

This patch also improved a few error messages, as some error
plumbing had to be moved around.

See new Note [Arity of data families] in FamInstEnv for more
info.

test case: indexed-types/should_compile/T12369